


Worthless

by midge1



Series: Oneshots [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, Not Beta Read, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:14:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27755188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midge1/pseuds/midge1
Summary: completely projection vent fic, roman angst with touch of unhealthy coping?
Series: Oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2030257
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	Worthless

**Author's Note:**

> umm the problem is i'm really bad at identifying triggers, i'd say tw toxic thinking, tearing yourself down, bad ideations just? be careful ok?

Roman sank out and almost started jumping for joy. He couldn’t stop his hands from flapping and a grin from beaming across his face. He finally did it! He finally got a date with someone who actually wanted to go out with him! This was crazy, had never happened before. Of course, he was always the hopeless romantic. Growing up with relationships romanticized to the point of being the one true goal in life did that to a person. But he never got his chance in that daydream. It was finally time!

  
Then reality hit. Who would ever actually want to be with him? They had probably just asked him out of pity. They didn’t actually care for him at all. Why would they? He couldn’t blame them. He was a horrible, selfish person. He shouldn’t torture them by forcing them to spend time with him. Better to tell them he never wanted to in the first place, everyone already knew him as a jerk, right?

  
He should be working. He was supposed to be working. Creativity was a demanding job, along with Hopes and Dreams and Everything Else. He couldn’t let everyone down by not doing them. He had no time to spend with them, anyway. He had no time to do anything for himself either. When was the last time he was able to wear something he wanted, something he felt good in? The ‘prince’ outfit didn’t count. He was nowhere near a real one and the only purpose served by it was appearance.

  
What did it matter what he wanted to do, or wanted to dress up in. He had no time. No time and it was useless anyway. Any good mood would be crushed soon enough. Any spark of joy would be snuffed out by the mountainload of misery on his back. The work piled up along with the heavy expectations. He always had to be the perfect chivalrous prince who could do no wrong. When he inevitably did, those flaws stood out glaringly. But how could he complain? His life was so easy compared to his brother-oh his brother had it so much worse than him.

  
Being ignored by the host is the worst pain in the world. He would never know how that felt, of course, but he could sympathize. He could see the toll it took on Remus. Just because he had a different brand of ideas didn’t mean they were useless. But he could never say a word. He could never risk his place at Thomas’ side.

  
He had to get to work. Get to work and get everything finished. Maybe then he could relax for a bit. But he knew he wouldn’t. The work was never finished. He would always end up lying awake in bed, frustrated and angry and disappointed in himself. At how useless he was. At how could he ever complain? His life was perfect? Loving family, a job that he loved. But did he really love it? No! Of course he loved it. He had always loved it and that would never change. He could never complain. It would only show just how much of a horrible, selfish and shallow prick he really was.

  
No, best to move on. Move on to other projects, other ventures. Things he wasn’t allowed to fail at. Or complain about. Just facts of life he couldn’t control. Even if he could, he wouldn’t change them. Or would he? But that was impossible and stupid to think about.

  
Might as well move on and try not to let everyone down. But he always did anyway.


End file.
